30 Days - Be Intentional

The details: Every day I'm reminding myself to 🌸be intentional🌸---I even put a reminder on my phone that tells me "wherever you are-be all there". I'm going to get deeper into this idea. Setting my intentions from the moment I wake up based on how I want to feel and how I want others who come in my presence to feel. Allowing each decision and situation that comes up throughout the day to be aligned with this idea of how it will make me feel. I'm really going to take notice of how I'm feeling as these things come up--am I doing these things to please others or are my decisions, actions, thoughts, and words aligning with my intention. I've been doing some light research into this idea and I have decided to put it to the test.

I invite you to join me in 🌸being intentional🌸 over the next 30 days.

As the next 30 days unfold, I will be sharing tips on the #hopeisasmile Facebook page--I will also add them to the blog so you can find them all in one spot. 

If you've chosen to be Intentional with me for the next 30 days, I'm going on this journey right along with you. So here's my first tip on how to grab hold of that feeling you want and help it stick with you as your day unfolds.

1. Give yourself grace. This is a process, not perfection. It may take time for this to feel natural. Practice is so important. Happiness is not an instant result. You are training your brain to think in a way that will help you feel how you want. By naming the feeling you want to feel throughout the day it gives you a safe reminder you can fall back on to help you shift your perspective in the times you find situations or people arent aligning with that feeling. The situation may stay the same, but you will change how you look at it. Which makes all the difference.

2. It's about awareness and taking back your own power to decide how you will affect the day rather than the day controlling you.

3. When you create your intentional affirmation, make sure it is in the present tense, close your eyes and imagine you are already feeling it and living it in this very moment.

4. Need some inspiration on how to get going? Start here: 

5. Allow the wording to feel right to you, in your words. Nix the words "not, should, could, would, won't" they tell those feelings of uncertainty to take over and overshadow that positive feeling (happy, love, relaxed, fearless, accomplished, in charge, strong, etc.) you want to find. Above are 2 affirmations I will be using over the next 30 days, feel free to choose one or play around with both to figure out if either feel right to you--or create your own. 

6. Write it out and stick it in a place you will see it every day!! & remember you may experience some trial & error but once you find what works for you... It'll feel sooo right!!

When you believe in something, you are sure and accepting it as truth. This type of certainty requires a lot of faith. It's in that faith that you have the ability to let go of things that are holding you back. Belief asks you to take a step outside your usual train of thought, to pause, if you will, in a situation that you might find yourself in to reflect and remember what is really in your control. It's in this pause where you have a choice to stay the same or begin right then to start making changes.

This is where that handy tip from the other day comes into play – affirmations, mantras, life words, pauses—whatever you call it that holds the most meaning to you. These moments of pause and affirmation help you notice when a situation or thought doesn’t agree with how you want to feel throughout the day. Their purpose is meant to uplift you and help you find that feeling again in the midst of it all. You and I are human and we are far from perfect. Most things will take work and persistence –truth and believing. Because what we believe is our reality. If you live in anger you will only ever experience anger. If you live complaining all the time, you will only ever find things to complain about. If you live in joy and understanding then you will find those things--even in the most uncertain of circumstances. It doesn't mean that moment is perfect or even pleasant, it just means you choose to allow peace flow through you and change the way you look at it. 

The morning intention is a reminder that we do have some element of control in how our day is going to go. Only God knows all the details, but, it is inevitable that we will encounter some bumps in the road throughout the day and it’s in these moments that we decide if those bumps are small potholes or if they become landslides that completely change the course of our day.

 It’s in these moments that we can pause and have the choice to take back our power over how we feel, how we respond, and our actions that transpire. We can leave a situation feeling defeated or uplifted and encouraged. We can leave a situation knowing that we left another person feeling defeated or know that they have been uplifted and encouraged. The responsibility to choose is yours.

Over the past few days, I have noticed that what I need to feel at any given moment varies depending on my interactions. I’ve come to notice this and accept that it’s okay to adjust my affirmation throughout the day to align with what I’m currently facing. For example, if my morning intention is “I am overflowing and surrounded with love and understanding, in alignment with my life’s purpose” it may change throughout the day to a more simplistic, “I am calm” or “I am patient”…Say you are experiencing a wave of anger, anxiety or frustration, maybe even a dip in your self-confidence—you can use words like “I am free from worry and anxiety. I am able to focus on this moment with a clear mind and an open heart for this situation”. Whether short and simple or reframing the entire day's affirmation—you are still honoring your morning intention. These words circle back and still agree with the feelings of love and understanding because you are allowing yourself to shift your focus in the moment so you can respond or change a thought that doesn’t serve a purpose. You are being intentional.

Let me be 100% transparent in this moment—this doesn’t come easy for me. It will take time and practice for these types of changes to flow naturally—especially in the moment. By practicing these slight changes in our mental scripts throughout the day, we are also honoring all of our human emotions—we have the power to take control and acknowledge the presence and purpose and gently taking a pause. To take a deep breath, recognize how we are feeling, and allowing ourselves permission to change our point of view. We are allowing ourselves to believe in our ability to make small changes When we do this, positive vibrations are sent out in the universe signaling that we are shifting and will not allow negative clouds to linger above us for too long. This believing is life-changing. When you allow yourself to genuinely believe that happiness is possible, real and happening right now in the present—this believing is the key & it is beautiful. This believing is freeing.

 P.S. here is an extremely important reality check that the therapist in me feels inclined to share—especially for the skeptic: when we experience intense feelings; such as anger —it may take time throughout the day to actually allow yourself the permission to see a situation in a new light. There are some emotions that are linked to certain people and memories that hold significant importance in our lives. Those feelings may need more time to sit and marinate before sending them on their way. This is okay. Affirmations and thought shifting does not tell you not to feel those feelings. They simply allow you to get through moments of time so you can live your life & make choices that you won’t regret. Certainly, those more intense feelings do need to be revisited—stay tuned for future tips on how to revisit that at a later time. But I thought it was extremely important to take this moment to recognize that all of this means nothing if we are not real. Dismissing such intense feelings gives us a disservice in the long term. ALL feelings are valid and shouldn’t be brushed aside as if they don’t matter or are insignificant. And perhaps after you are able to shift your thoughts at the moment so that you can get through your day honoring how you want to feel—then you can pick a time when you can give those more intense emotions space and attention they need to tell you why they were so big and to begin to heal. 

Caring seems like a no brainer. However, Without the element of simply caring it may be difficult to set a daily intention that you honestly believe. Being intentional requires you to care. This reminds me of the movie Peter Pan when Peter is telling Wendy, Michael and John how to fly with the pixie dust and he tells them to think happy thoughts, but it wasn’t just the thinking of the happy thoughts that made them fly—they needed to think of a thought that actually sparked joy and happiness and they had to CARE and BELIEVE. That combination is what gave them the ability to take off.

So, the ability to allow yourself to feel, believe and care will ultimately give you the ability to practice real love for yourself and for others. So, take a moment and think about how you take care of and show others you love them? Do you love yourself in the same way? How much time, effort, money and energy to you put into the people, places, and things you care about? What lengths would you go to nurture and protect them? Do you give to others with the overflow or do you give all you have to others and hope there is enough left for yourself? Perhaps you have been living your life as if your walking on a tight rope stuck in the middle and feeling pulled in different directions; not quite able to give those you care about all you wish you could AND not able to care for yourself because of (enter excuse here). Stop the excuses. Allowing yourself to be intentional and CARE will allow you enough love, time and energy to go into refueling yourself and in turn that will overflow into those you care about. You will truly believe in your purpose and that your gifts are unique. You will feel empowered and that is what will make the difference.